.transient in a constant flux

how my desk in the studio would be:
at ravensbourne, we had an open studio with desks. everyone could just claim a desk and work there all year. my desk at DA would have lots of natural lighting, and i sit near a window, so i can look outside and daydreams some more.

knowing me, the desk would be messy, piled with my trusty toolbox from ravensbourne years, spilling with drawing pens, steel ruler, stanley knife, tape, modelling clay, screwdrivers, paint samples, etc. other stuff on desk: design magazines, clippings of articles, prints, photographs, boards with sticky-notes depicting flowcharts, design books, a hardmodel or two, stickers, etc.

i also like to pick up odd bits and pieces from construction sites or vintage shops, so i might have the top part of a mannequin on my desk as well. maybe a cool homemade lamp i made from spare parts.

what's in my bag:
every day i will bring my baby Sputnik (my faithful powerbook), digital camera + lenses, moleskine sketchbook (reporter's edition i love best), ID cards, pens, Metro pass and reading book in my school bag.

*i interrupt this daydream to bring sad news*

my orange messenger bag broke. the seams at the back burst and it's irrepairable. i'm so sad. i bought it at Gap for really cheap, like £15 in 1997, so it's lasted a really long time and it's served me well. it's great for carrying all your stuff around, because the sides can be expand to double its capacity. it has lots of compartments inside and outside for easy access, is easy to clean, it's not too big and it's orange :)

i'm trying to find its replacement, but every bag i see seems to:
a. have a huge logo splashed across the flaps *makes a walking ad for diesel/puma/etc*
b. too big/bulky/heavy *knocks me in the butt when i am walking*
c. too small/cute *my camera fits but my pbook doesn't, or vice versa*

eek! help! at the moment i am looking at:
- this bag which comes in orange, yay!
- this bag which doesn't come in orange, but i like the shape.
- this bag which is the bulkiest, but is on sale ;)

how my life-outside-school would be:
everyone at work keeps asking what robert is going to do, and they don't believe me when i tell them, "we don't know yet." i wish they'd fuck off and leave me alone. seriously. ideally, he comes to milan. if not, that's okay too. we can do the long-distance thing. i'm prepared for both.

if robert is not there...
i'll live in the apartment with a flatmate. the apartment has two bedrooms, anyway. my flatmate would be called eva, who is also indonesian. she is also a student. she studies industrial design at the milan politecnico. she did her undergrad in london. just like me!

we take turns cooking. and we do homework together. and gossip. and do girly things like painting our nails in front of the TV. i'd bitch and moan about missing my husband, she'll bitch and moan about missing her boyfriend (it's not clear where said-boyfriend lives, but it's not in milan, or italy).

we shop together for food and clothes, and we see our friends. we have different sets of friends because we go to different schools, but we know other indonesian students in milan. we both have part-time jobs. i freelance at a design company somewhere in the city, and she works at an interiors shop, so she can get freebies for our flat, yippee :)

on weekends, robert comes to visit me. we're out and about in milan, seeing friends, exhibitions. but sometimes i have to work on weekends, so he cooks me dinner and makes me lunch and does my laundry, hahaha, dream a little dream :)

if robert is there...
i come home to my husband every day and all is well :)